I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
