the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
