WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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