make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
