my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
