remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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