Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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