farters have to be the big spoon...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
