So drunk its hurt
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize