part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
