Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize