White coat. Heels.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
