Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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