I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
