She said her name was "party"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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