Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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