I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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