You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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