i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the day after is always just damage control
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
