Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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