I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
