seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
