What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
