Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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