guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
