She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
