Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
