is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Never joke about your clitoris.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
