I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
