you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
