People in love make me want to vomit
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
