Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
