So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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