you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
