Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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