Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize