my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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