Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
