i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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