Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
