I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
