I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
