Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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