I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
