the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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