I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
