Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
