Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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