I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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