well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
