You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
