Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
