Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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