He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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