I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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