I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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