i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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