i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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