i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
