I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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