I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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