Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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