There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize